I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic
by Bloody Nuns
Summary: Au, In Revision , Hinata just came back from living with her mother after her sudden death. No one seems to pay attention to her just like they used to. She is just shy, timid Hinata why bother?...
1. prologue

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Hinata´s POV

The moon shone brightly at my post, I was the silent keeper tonight.

Twin orbs like daughters of said keeper peer at me through the reflection of the small pond I came across. I'm so disgusted with my reflection that I immediately tear my gaze away. My face is worn out, I look paler than normal, my eyes are puffy and red from crying and there are tear stains on my cheeks. If I wasn't going through so much pain I would have believed I was dead myself.

'_Pain is the only thing that tells you are alive' _I'm a mess, a complete mess.

"I'm weak… I'm a failure… I'm pathetic… I'm weak… I'm a failure… I'm pathetic…" I kept repeating those words over and over again till my throat burns and I couldn't hold back my sobs.

I look over at the pond again. My midnight hair was a tangled mess from running, and I have cuts and scratches everywhere. My limbs ache and all I want to do is sleep. My arms lay in a bloody puddle at my sides.

'_Should I let slumber take me?'_

I'm so tired I can't think properly. _'No!'_ I can't lose myself, I must run, run away, don't look back. I can't let myself be consumed by the darkness.

"WHY CAN'T I BE STRONG!?" my scream scared the night creatures leaving me more alone than I ever was. My throat was burning, my sobs were uncontrollable.

'_I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic.'_

LIke the fragile weakling that I am, I pass out in the cold darkness near the tiny pond with the moon hidden behind a cloud. Not even she would watch over me. I'm worthless.

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	2. Chapter 1

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I am Hyuuga Hinata. I don't know how long it's been since I truly smiled? Days, weeks, months…?

_'__Three months to be exact'._

A week ago I reunited with my father, little sister, and cousin. How long has it been since I last saw them?

_'Years…' _

Why does time fly by so fast and yet painfully slow? Every hour, every minute, every second are like torture. I haven't slept or eaten much in the last three months. I looked terrible, so I tried to conceal my physical and mental state from my family as best as I could, and it has yet to fail me.

My smile is fake it pains me but no one has said anything about it. I'm lucky that my father hates me for being such a weakling, as well as my sister because she is daddy's precious little 'princess', such a stuck up brat she was at a young age; they would never bother to look at me. My cousin is never home, he is always with his friends and extracurricular activities, so I don't have to worry about him.

The manor is so cold; everyone looks at me as if I was trash.

_'I am.'_

I seem to be a bother to everyone, but I prefer to be looked down upon on than to be physically and emotionally alone.

Can't they see my troubles, my state, I'm dying, I'm dying, am I such a waste that they don't see me rotting from the inside out? It pains me to be like this. It pains me that I can't accomplish anything. It pains me that others had worst lives yet live with smiles and happiness for the next sunrise to actually see another worthless day.

'_Why can't I stop this depression?'_

'_Because I want you to rot from the inside out Hina-Hime, I want you to slowly, painfully die my Hime'"_ a hoarse voice recited the lines I so dread in the back of my mind.

"To rot from the inside out…" I repeated those words filling the emptiness of my room. "To rot from the inside out…"

I will start school today, Konoha High is the name. My father said my cousin Neji would take me and show me around, Neji isn't thrilled to say the least, I don't blame him we never get along, he hates me and I do not know why.

The trip from our manor to school in our limo was uneventful. I hate the fact that my family is rich. I hate the fact that I'm the heiress. I hate that people believe I'm rich and spoiled. They think I'm a bitch who gets everything she wants on a silver platter. I don't, I don't, what I hate the most is that I can't leave them even though they hate me because I seek them, I need them to live. I'm a masochist.

The car stooped and Neji got out barking at me to do the same. He is just so happy to be taking his pathetic younger cousin around. Great!

Neji has always been the child prodigy, the jock, the get straight A's without lifting a finger genius. My father accepted him with open arms when my uncle died; father was just thrilled to have a proper Hyuuga under his roof. Neji is a handsome man; I know as much, his eyes are so like mine yet painfully different. He is cold he was always cold to me. He seemed happy when my parents divorced and I choose to go with my mom.

_'My mom'_

He probably wishes that she hadn't died so that I wouldn't have to come live with them. They seem like a happy family without me. As happy as a Hyuuga family can be.

I follow close behind him, his strides are strong and demand passage through the sea of students, which they grant, and mine are small, pitiful, and weak. I keep my head down to cover my shame. He growls when he sees me. There is no doubt that he hates my weakness.

We reach the office; He demands that I be given my schedule and locker.

"Hyuuga-san you can go to class now, I'll take care of Hinata-chan."

Neji just 'Hn' and left, leaving me with the secretary, I think her name is Shizune. She turned to me with a sweet smile.

"The head mistress will see you now; go on, the third door from the left." I nod and turn to walk.

I follow her instructions and come face-to-face with the head mistress's door. I knock and wait for the indication that I'm permitted to enter. After a few seconds I hear the faint come in and allowed myself in.

There a blonde woman with huge breast sat in a mahogany desk.

"I'm Tsunade, the head mistress of Konoha High, WELCOME!" Her voice was booming and I flinch because of the volume.

"H-h-hel-l-o, m-my n-nam-me is-s H-h-hin-nat-ta H-hy-uug-ga." What a failure, stuttering in-front of the head mistress, I'm pathetic.

"Well hello Hinata-chan, here are your locker number and schedule, I hope you will come to love this school." she said while beaming.

I vow to show my gratitude and leave. I won't love this school. I won't.

The bell had rung while I was in the head mistress office, now the hall was deserted and I didn't have to worry about others seeing the failure I am. I am taking my sweet time finding my homeroom. I had figured out the numbering in this school as soon as I left the office. Pretty simple, odds on the left, evens on the right, decreasing numbers toward the cafeteria, increasing numbers toward the gym, nothing too ingenious. Not something that should be worth mentioning to anybody.

I finally found the door belonging to my homeroom, Kakashi is the sensei. I twist the nod and enter with my head vow; I don't want to see my classmates look at me; they probably have disgust written on their faces, disapproval perhaps.

"You must be the new student, Hyuuga Hinata; if I'm not mistaken there is another Hyuuga in the class."

At this I look up, fear in my face. I don't want to be in Neji's class, no I don't. He might have helped me find the office but now...

"Why don't you seat next to Neji. It would be nice to have him help you out, ne". Even though half his face was cover by a mask, I could still see the smile by the way Kakashi-sensei's only visible eye made a U-turn.

I gulp down my nerves, bowed and turn to walk to my doom. As I was walking, a blonde girl with blue eyes stuck her leg out, I tripped. Tears swelled my eyes as I heard the whole class laugh.

I hate this school already.

I got up from the ground with no one's help and quickly manoeuvred to my desk. Neji glared at me, probably because I brought shame to his name. I should be used to those kinds of glares but I can't stop fidgeting under them. I can sense his pleasure from my discomfort. Yet I can't bring myself to stop him, or even stop me.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, __and I'm pathetic."_

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	3. Chapter 2

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I don't know how long it took for the bell to ring, but I was surely glad it did; I couldn't stand anymore of Neji's glares. I was one of the first out the door, I didn't even look back, not that I would, I'm terrified.

The halls were crowded, making it almost impossible to get through. I was pushed, shoved and slammed into a wall.

What a weakling.

With a few minor bruises I got to my locker, I grabbed the necessary books for my second class, science with Kurenai-sensei.

The class was half-full. Many of the students were crowded around talking to others. We still had three minutes before the late bell rang. I immediately spotted the teacher at her desk, she was beautiful: dark hair, red eyes, full lips, nice clothes, a perfect female example. Not like me. I went to her and stuttered my name out, why can't I stop stuttering? She smiled sweetly at me and told me to find any empty seat and settle down. I nodded but before I could turn to leave she stopped me and with a gentle expression said that if I needed anything to come and talk to her, whether it was about her class or something personal. _'Why is she so nice to me?' _I tried to smile, and it's obvious that it's fake, I stuttered my 'thank you' with a blush dusting my cheeks. I'm not used to people being nice to me just because they want to, only my mom, but Kurenai-sensei is practically a stranger! Why would anyone be nice to me anyway? I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic.

I found a seat in the back of the classroom and I literally dropped myself on it.

_'Why did she say that?' _

While I was pondering this the bell rang, startling me, I completely zoned out, I looked up and saw that everyone was in their seats. Some of the students were from my homeroom. They were pointing at me and laughing. I see that they didn't forget my fall. Typical teenagers', laughing at the misfortune of others, my response was to sink lower in my seat and duck my head. My index fingers began instinctively fondling with each other. This was a nervous habit I have had since childhood.

Kurenai-sensei, not liking the fact that no one was paying attention to her, cleared her throat and gave us bookwork to do. Most of the class groaned but started doing it anyhow. I didn't mind the work. I needed to have my head preoccupied.

It was easy, after thirty minutes I was done. I took this time to figure out my status in school. Pretty pathetic but seeing Kurenai-sensei made me self-aware, I don't really fit in actually, I don't have friends or anyone to talk to. _'I could talk to Kurenai-sensei but..._'I don't know why I thought otherwise. I'm like a wallflower. I don't dress fashionably, even though my family is rich, and I don't attract attention towards my self. No I shy away from the spotlight. I'm timid. I stuttered. I get nauseous when I get someone's attention. I'm a disgrace toward the Hyuuga name.

Most of my outfits are baggy pants and hoodies, they hide my figure well. Not that I have one. I don't consider myself beautiful. No, I consider myself plain. My dark hair is never down always in a messy bun, my skin is like a deathly pale that makes me look sick, maybe I am, and my eyes are blank white with a tint of lavender, they show everything I feel and my state of mind. I hate my eyes.

I'm now inside the girls locker-room, second hour ended well. Kurenai-sensei was nice enough to not give us homework tonight.

I got changed in one of the cubicles. I wouldn't dare to change in front of the others. They are better than me and would taunt me if I did. I put on the Konoha High PE uniform which consisted of blue baggy shorts that reach up to my knee and a big white t-shirt that had the Konoha emblem in blue. I kept a long-sleeve shirt under the uniform one. I know it's hot but I don't care. I always cover myself up. I don't let others see me.

Once I was out I met my eccentric teacher, Gai-sensei and his mini-clone. I think his name is Lee.(Gai-sensei did say that name while hugging his 'clone' in front of the sunset with the ocean waves crashing in the background.) They both have the same bowl haircut and talk about youth. Gai-sensei was so excited to have a new student that he decided to make the class run 25 laps around the track. Everyone glared at me. I don't blame them, it is really hot outside and no one wanted to run. I don't mind, I actually like running. I like the feel of the wind whileI run. I'm actually not that bad at it. I always run away from everything so it doesn't surprise me that I am a good runner.

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I was on my 24th lap. I felt so excited because I could actually accomplish something. Not that I would be the first to finish, oh no, because there were two boys ahead of me. Lee, who was first, and a redhead whose name I don't know. But still, I would accomplish something and actually not fail for once. I didn't even mind that it actually was a pitiful 25 lap race in High school Physical Education, I was just happy because I was the only girl so far ahead and I was beating most of the boys! The thrill of actually winning was euphoric; only a couple of feet left, so close.

I was so ecstatic that I didn't see the rock in my way and tripped for the second time that day.

_"I__ failed. I failed."_

My knee was bleeding profusely.

_"I__ failed. I failed. _"

My hands were scratched and stung.

_"I failed. I failed."_

I barely registered Gai-sensei coming to my aid and telling one of the students to take me to the clinic. All I heard were the laughs.

One second I'm on the track almost finishing the race, and being victorious for once, the next I'm in the clinic with the nurse bandaging my knee and my hands. Apparently the stinging sensation of my hands was my skin ripping. They started to bleed on the way to the clinic.

I only recall flashes of the trip to the clinic. I remember someone dragging me up and placing a hand on my waist to support me. I had my hand on his/her shoulder. I remember red hair; probably the boy that was ahead of me. What was his name? I don't recall. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. I failed again. I can't do anything right.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic."_

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	4. Chapter 3

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Its lunchtime and I'm aimlessly roaming the halls. The nurse had release me a few minutes ago after giving me a lecture about being more careful next time or something like that. I blanked out while she was reciting her pre-prepared speech. She only kept on nagging and nagging. God!! I'm not in the proper mental state to be reprimanded about something as trivial as tripping on a rock. Doesn't anyone have empathy anymore? (No, they don't) Pity me will'ya. I only nodded my head to appear that I was listening and left as soon as she let me to change out of my PE uniform. I wasn't going to walk around school with it; it will only cause more teasing.

I'm not going to get lunch. I don't feel up to it. Everyone will laugh at me. I know they will. God, why did I have to fall twice in the same day, in MY FIRST DAY at that? I prefer to hide away. Yeah, I want to savour my failure alone. This is why I don't get my hopes up, everything I wish for only crumbles into pieces.

I pass a familiar door, my second hour class. I stopped only for a minute hesitating. I could go talk to Kurenai-sensei, tell her my deepest thoughts and lift a load of my shoulders, but in reality I don't want to. I don't want to be cheered up. I want to slowly rot alone, like I should. I don't want others to see me fall into pieces. They will only think I'm pathetic. I continue walking without looking back.

I decided to spend the rest of my lunch at the roof top. I like it there. There's no soul insight. It's a perfect place to think, relax, and cry... I can let my mask slip and show the real me. Tears rolling down my cheeks, I start to cry pretty badly. I'm hysterically crying actually. My sobs are uncontrollable, my vision is blurry and I can't breath. My body shakes as waves of sadness consume me. When did I bottle up so much pain? I cry because of the present, I cry because of the past, I cry because of the future to come. God, how can a human being handle so much sadness without breaking?

When I started crying hysterically I was at the center of the roof, but now I'm on the railing climbing up, swinging my leg over so that I would stand on the other side. A single move and I would suffer a severe fall. It is a two-story building after all. _"Would I have the guts to commit suicide?"_ I started the countdown.

"One"

"Two"

"... "I hesitated.

"Three"

I couldn't jump. I'm a coward. I sight in defeate and was trying to swing over my foot to climb down when I felt two strong arms circle my waist. This shocked me and made me lose my balance. I gave a shriek. I didn't fall, I was being pulled over the railing. I fell on top of the chest of whoever saved me. I could have died just now.

An angry growl was emitted by my saviour. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" The voice scarred me. It was deep, cold, harsh, and angry. A male, definitely male. I scurry out of his grasp and lean my back on the railing. I tried to get as far away as possible from him. He sounded infuriated and I was on his receiving end.

"I SAID WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" He grabbed my arms fiercely this time, shaking me. "ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT."

I couldn't help but look up at his green sea foam eyes. He was the redhead from my PE class. He was glaring at me, his eyes were pouring into mine, and he was holding my arms tighter than he should, he will leave bruises, demanding an answer. I couldn't form coherent sentences. I couldn't do anything else except bow my head. I don't want him to see my despair. We stood like that for what seemed an eternity.

He suddenly releases my arms and grabbed his head. It seems that my attempt suicide took a toll on him. It's not everyday you see someone try to kill themselves and have to save them.

I didn't want to stay there, so I ran, more like limp because my knee still hurt, and I grab my stuff near the door and ran. Before I did I whisper a broken 'thank you' with my back to him. I don't think he even heard it.

He's in my fourth hour. English with Kakashi-sensei (I have him twice.) He came in late. I figure as much. The bell had rang a second after I ran away. He didn't look too good. He probably stayed back 'till he felt ready to go to class. What a surprise he had, finding me among his classmates! When he came in I finally learned his name, Sabaku no Gaara, said by Kakash-sensei himself.

_"Sabaku no Gaara"_

It was awkward. He stood in front of the class glaring at me. I don't know if he was mad at me or something else. I couldn't read his expression. I was lucky to have my hood on, it covered my face pretty well, because I would have die from the embarrassment. Irony much, I laughed out loud. Everyone was looking at me.

I was so happy when Kakashi-sensei told him to sit down that I would have squealed if it wasn't for the fact that I'm Hinata. I'm timid, shy Hinata, I would never do something so courageous. My happiness ended when he sat next to me. I didn't notice that the only empty seat was next to me. Hyuuga's are supposed to see everything; I'm a failure as a Hyuuga.

I felt his stares all throughout class. We were supposed to read this book assign to us but I couldn't concentrate. I was either thinking of _him _or why he saved me or I was fidgeting under his glares. I seem to be fidgeting under glares a lot today.

I gave up trying to read my book and started playing with my bandage hands. They hurt like hell.

"_Pain is the only thing that tells you are alive."_ Yeah I'm alive. I couldn't suicide properly.

Then it hit me, I attempted suicide. I tried to kill myself!! My pain was so unbearable that I actually wanted to end my life. I went stiff.

"I_ want you to rot from the inside out Hina-Hime, I want you to slowly, painfully die my Hime… until you can't take it anymore and end your life... " _That voice again. God, why?

A single tear slid down my cheek. I had my hood on so no one noticed it. They all kept doing their work. No one would care, anyway, if they saw it.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, __and I'm pathetic."_

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	5. Chapter 4

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Now I have fifth hour with Asume-sensei, he teaches algebra. I was thinking of skipping this class but I composed myself in time. The sick feeling that the voice brings to my stomach vanish. My mask is back in place, even though I look more tired than before, and I have my signature fake smile, it pains me to have it. I'm 'happily' doing the twenty algebraic expressions Asume-sensei gave us as class work. I really needed to keep my mind away from... depressing things and this helps a lot. I'm not good at math like Hanabi or Neji, they are good at everything, so I need to fully concentrate on the problems to get them right. It's a good thing because Gaara is also in my class. I kill two birds with one shot. God, the pun was not intended.

Unlike in Kakashi-sensei's class, Gaara sits in the front and I seat in the back. He can't glare at me and I'm thankful because of that. I can relax now and concentrate on my work. Something about him makes me feel guilty. Maybe it's the fact that he saved me and I didn't thank him properly or the way he looked at me, like he was there but in another place. God he was angry. I don't even know why he was mad, he's not my friend, he doesn't even know me. Why would he be mad if I die? I guess I would never know.

God, I said I wasn't going to think about him or my suicide attempt or anything similar. I need to do math, yeah go back to my math problems. I can't even write with my hands they hurt. I can't even stand small amounts of pain. I'm weak.

This is my second to last class. After school I'll have to go home alone, Neji is going to stay after school for soccer. He is good at everything he does, he plays the piano like a God, he is very athletic (plays soccer, basketball, and baseball), and is the president of the archery club and student council. I could never be compared to him. I would never gain my father's praise like Neji and Hanabi do. That's because _"I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic."_

The bashful thoughts about myself were cut short by the bell. I scurry out of the classroom like everyone else did. I just remember that Gaara was in my class and I wanted to get as far away as possible from him.

I got to my locker and deposited the books I didn't need but left my math one out. Asuma-sensei gave us thirty problems to do for homework. I don't mind it. The Hyuuga manor is worst than school. At-least in school I'm not alone, there's students all around me, even if they are not my friends their presence sooth me a little, but in my house there's no one. My room is all the way in the other wing from my father's, cousins and sister's. They practically deserted me. I finally got everything settle down the way I wanted in my locker and close it, only to find Gaara in the one next to mine.

My mask crumbled for the second time today and my face was pure shock. I looked like a deer caught in headlights. Gaara looked at me with such intensity in his eyes that it took my breath away. My heart started beating faster and my hands started to sweat. I might have sounded like I'm love struck but in reality I'm dead afraid. The warning bell rang and he left, he didn't even look back, he just left like everyone else does.

I got to my art class with a few seconds to spare. I needed sometime to catch my breath after the encounter with Gaara. There was only one empty seat. The tables were arranged into groups of three and the seat available was next to some guy I didn't know and _Gaara_. Is he in all my classes?

I reluctantly walk toward the table and sat down. I didn't even look up at my table mates. Anko Mitarashi our art teacher decided that we were going to have a group project outside. We were supposed to find something natural like a tree or a rock and somehow convert it into our group partners. (separate pictures if we wanted to) I was pondering how I was going to accomplish that with my bandage hands and Gaara being one of my partners when my other partner decided to introduce himself.

"I'm Sai" he extended his hand expecting me to shake it with a smile on his face.

"I'm-m H-hin-nat-ta H-hyuug-ga, n-nice to-o m-meet-t y-you S-sai-s-san-n" I return his smile and shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you too Hinata-chan" His smile is so carefree yet fake. I could tell that it wasn't real by the way his black eyes don't sparkle. I bet he figure out that my smile was fake also. I know we won't tell each other, we both understand that there are reasons why someone must put a fake smile. It would be a sin if we ask why. It's a silent agreement that we won't brake.

Sai wasn't going to accept his other partners lack of common courtesy so he jabbed Gaara with his elbow. Gaara grunted and introduce himself in a monotone voice.

"Sabaku no Gaara"

Gaara glared at both of us. I sunk lower in my seat while Sai didn't even bat an eyelash. He's probable used to the glares, I'm not.

The class is outside. Anko-sensei is helping the groups that need help and Gaara, Sai and me are sitting in a circle working on our drawings. It's more like they are working on their drawing; I'm actually trying to find a more comfortable way of drawing without hurting my hands. Its useless no matter how I grab the pencil, my hands will still hurt. I sight frustrated. My partners looked at me as if asking if I was alright, I manage a small fake smile to assure them that I was fine. I guess I have to suck it up and draw. A little more pain won't damage me.

I winced every once-in-a-while but I managed to finish my drawings. I drew Gaara sitting down as a sand done in the wind. The shifting sands causing half his face to erase made it look like he fades into the sand. Sai was crouched down drawing on a big piece of paper. Sai himself was a rock and the paper the sea. They aren't the best things I did. They probably suck compare to the others. But considering the fact that my hands are bandaged and Gaara is sitting right next to me, I did well.

When I draw, I forget about everything. I'm just in another world. I didn't notice that Sai had left until I finished. Only Gaara and me, everyone else was farther away. We were in a secluded area because we, as a group, prefer the quietness but now I wish I was with the others. I stared at everything and anything except Gaara.

"Why did you do it?"

Why did he have to ask?

"um-m" I needed to think of something. He saved my life, I should at least say thank you. I need to.

"T-thank-k y-you" pitiful, only a whisper but it would have to work. Now say it louder and look at his face.

"T-thank y-you" This time I did look up. His eyes widen a little but his face was still in its expressionless state. "Y-you s-sav-ved m-my l-lif-fe, T-thank y-you"

"Hn, you thank me even though I ruined your plans of killing yourself?" I raise my head to see his expression; I couldn't tell what he felt with his monotone voice. "Why?" His eyes soften.

"I-i c-could-dn't-t k-kil-ll-l m-mys-self-f" his expression was asking me what was I saying "I-i'm a-a c-cow-ward-d, I-I c-chicke-ened o-out"

His expression was unreadable but I know that his eyes showed sadness. Like he understood what I was going through?

"Can I see your drawings?" He suddenly changed the topic and I was grateful he did.

"S-su-r-re" We chit-chatted about our drawings and how to make them better and then about our classes. I smiled a small real smile. For three months I couldn't smile but Gaara helped me find my lost ability. He might even understood me...

Even if I did smile a little with Gaara today and made a friend my ride home reminded me that I'm actually alone. The ride was quiet. Even if Neji was to be here it will still be quiet. When I got out and opened the door to the manor I came face-to-face with my father. I vow and stammered a 'hello' he looked at me with such disgust that it teared my heart. I think that my face actually showed the turmoil of my emotions because he glared at me and walked away. He left me. I was left alone again. Why? The happiness I had accumulated over the short time I spend with Gaara vanishes in an instant. If my father believes I'm weak, I am. If my father believes I'm a failure, I am. If my father believes I'm pathetic, I am.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic."_

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	6. Chapter 5

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The morning of the next day was like any other, quiet breakfast with family, quiet limo ride with Neji, and lonely quiet walk to my locker; same old, same old, once alone always alone. What I didn't expect was for Gaara to be there. He was standing next to my locker, it must be a mistake, it seemed he was waiting for me. I bid my quiet, stuttered, polite 'good morning' and went to my locker. I bet he will go and do whatever he needs to do and leave me. I know for a fact that he wasn't waiting for me. No one waits for me.

I was taking my time, putting the books in slowly, taking the ones I needed out slower. By the time I was done he was still there, waiting... for me. I know that my face expressed the shock I had. He just looked at me with that stare of his, eyes blank, expression emotionless.

"We have the same class." His voice was the same monotonous voice of yesterday. Was he implying that we should walk together?

"W-would-d y-you l-like-e t-to w-walk w-with m-me?" Pathetic stuttered. But at least I looked up this time. Pat on the back for me!

"Hn"

I don't know whether to take that as a 'yes' or a 'no' but when he turns to leave I knew that my heart shattered. He will leave me like everyone else. I didn't even know when I had raised my hope.

"Aren't you coming?" He stopped. He turns to looked at me annoyed. He was waiting for me to follow him.

"Y-yes-s" I scurry after him. I didn't want to annoy him more.

Are we friends? I don't think I can answer the question now but I'm glad someone at least decided to waste some time on me. Even if Gaara doesn't talk to me and I annoy him, his presence still makes me feel better, much better.

We got to our homeroom. It was empty. I looked around surprise. Where was everyone?

"Kakashi is never here early" we locked eyes "Everyone gets here ten minutes after the bell." I nodded to show him that I understood and we sat down. I didn't notice it before but Gaara sits right behind me. We savoured our alone time together in silence.

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Like Gaara said, the students came in ten minutes after the bell and Kakashi-sensei had yet to appear. I didn't like the way people were talking about me laughing at me. Everyone was making fun of me.

I learned the names of the jocks and preps that ridiculed me, my cousin being one of them. Ino Yamanaka was the blond girl that tripped me yesterday. Her best friend was a pink hair green eyed beauty named Sakura Haruno, both were cheerleaders, Ino being the captain and Sakura the co-captain. Their friend Tenten is the vice president of the archery club. Her brown hair is in buns and she has this tomboy look to her, nether the less she is a jock. Sasuke Uchiha is one of Neji's friends and captain of the soccer team. He has black hair shaped like a chicken butt and onyx eyes. Naruto Uzamaki is his best friend with blond spiky hair and cerulean eyes, he is the co-captain of the soccer team. He also is one of Neji's friends. Kiba Inuzuka has the same personality as Naruto but has brown eyes and hair and two red triangles in each cheek; he is on the basketball team. Shikamaru Nara is the lazy genius of the group; he has brown hair tide up into a pony tail that looks like a pineapple and brown eyes; he is the vice president of the student council. His best friend is Chouji Akimichi a brown eyed and hair baseball player that loves to eat; he has swirls on his cheeks. All three are Neji's friends. All are in their prime. All make fun of others for their own personal joy.

Not everyone is a jock. Not everyone makes fun of me. Sai and Lee are both in my homeroom. Sai gave me his fake smile and a nod as a 'good morning' when he came in. Lee yelled his bubbly greeting, and asked if I was fine from my fall yesterday. I gladly accepted their acknowledgement and responded accordingly. I gave Sai a small smile, fake, and a wave. I stuttered my 'good morning' to Lee and told him I was fine. Would they be considered my friends? There's also Shino Aburame, a boy who wears a high collar jacket and sunglasses. He introduced himself today and bid me a 'good morning'. I did the same but only with a stuttered.

Kakashi-sensei came in late telling us to do whatever we wanted. Everyone just kept on talking. I got a book out and started to read. I could talk to Gaara but he seems to like the quiet. He doesn't look like he talks a lot so I let him be. I'm grateful that he at least walked with me to class.

We both went to our lockers together and walked to second hour. I couldn't stop the small smile I had. Gaara is nice. He doesn't have to walk with me to all our classes, but he does. I'm thankful he does. It gives me a small light of hope in my immense darkness.

Kurenai-sensei also notices my happiness. "I'm glad you're happy Hinata-chan." She sounded so much like my mother I almost cried. Why must I ruin my happiness by remembering the past? Why can't I let myself be happy?

The mood turns gloom; I gave her a fake smile and turn to my desk. Gaara sat on the one next to me, his eyes asking me why did I have the suddenly change? I shook my head to signal that nothing was wrong. He looked sceptical but let it pass. I'm happy that he didn't question me further.

The class went smoothly. Everyone worked on their bookwork and kept quiet. When I finish my work I looked around the class. I knew some of my classmates. Sakura, Chouji, and Kiba were there to my displeasure but Shino was there also. When we locked eyes we nodded to each other. That's our acknowledgement, I like it.

Gaara walked me to the girl's locker room and then left. Are we friends? Why would he walk with me everywhere? Why would he acknowledge me? Does he think that I might attempt suicide if he doesn't watch over me? So many questions, that I do not have the answers to.

I change quickly and went to stand close to the bleachers. Gaara came to stand next to me and we waited for Gai-sensei's orders. He said something about having a free day and that those who wanted to play football could and that the others could watch from the bleachers. Kiba, Lee, Naruto and Shino went to play. Sakura and Ino were the 'cheerleaders'.

Gaara went to lean against a tree next to the bleachers and I followed him. I stood awkwardly next to him playing with my index fingers; he just looked at me annoyed. I needed to find the courage to ask him now!

"A-are w-we fr-rie-iend-ds?" I sounded so pathetic I would be surprised if he said yes.

"No"

My face was crestfallen.

"Do you want to be friends?"

I looked at him surprise. Did he just ask me to...?

"Yes" I'm proud. I sounded so confident and sure about myself without the stuttered.

"Friends" That single word, said by that monotone voice, made me so happy that I couldn't contain the tears of joy I let fall. He looked worried and started to panic. "Hey don't cry, I don't handle crying girls well." I surprised us by hugging him. I could tell that he's not use to physical contact but he was my teddy bear for the moment. It's his fault he agreed to be friends with me. He started to relax after a while and hugged me back.

We stood like that until I stopped crying and then sat underneath the tree. We both had small smiles. I think I'm one of his only friends and he is mine. I'm glad we found each other; even if we met because of my attempt at suicide.

We were going to eat in the cafeteria but the laughs and the finger pointing and the talks behind our backs about me made Gaara decide to eat somewhere else. I piped in that we could eat on the roof. He looked at me as if I were crazy. I don't know what was going through his head while looking at me but he was probably thinking of yesterday.

"I-I w-won't-t J-ump" He agreed to go after I promised, and when he figured out we had nowhere else to go.

-

When we got there we ate our lunches quietly. I smiled up at the sun. My eyes close. I could tell that Gaara was staring at me; watching me closely.

"You never told me why you tried to commit suicide."

I didn't move. I stayed the way I was, I knew he was going to ask me, It was only a matter of time. I resign and told him the truth

"Because of my past" I didn't stutter. I never stuttered when it's about this "I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic." The words came out as a whisper. They were like a mantra I memorize. I opened my eyes. "That's also the reason why I didn't suicide" I looked down at my arms_. "Why_?"

He just looked at me. His eyes were clouded with emotions I couldn't read.

I suddenly stood up and went to the railing. He sprung up right after I did and instinctively put an arm around my waist. He growled at me.

"You promised"

"I-I j-just-t want-ted to-o th-throw-w m-my tra-trash a-away-y" I showed him my trash and then pointed to the garbage can three steps away from me. He relaxes but didn't let go. "I'll throw it" He grabs my trash and throws it himself. Is he over-protective because he is my friend? Is he really afraid that I might try to commit suicide again?

He dragged me to where we were sitting before by the arm and made me sit down. I bet he doesn't have many friends, like me. That's why he is like this.

"T-thank-k y-you for-r be-being m-my frie-iend Gaara-kun-n" I smiled at him. I like knowing I have someone that cares about me. Even if it was for just a little bit.

"Thank you for being mine, Hinata-chan." he whisper but I still heard it. My smile widened.

The rest of the classes flew by. I wasn't actually paying attention. There wasn't anything worth mentioning. Everyone only gossiped about me. Apparently they went from my public humiliation to my personal life. Like the fact that my mother is dead. That I was reluctantly let into the Hyuuga manor so that no more shame is brought to the name Hyuuga. That I'm a freak and a loser. That in my other school my mother paid my friends so that they will hang out with me. I didn't even have friends there. GOD DAMMIT! They went from truth to lies.

Then they started talking about Gaara because he was always with me. They said that he was a monster, that he was the reason why his mother died. That he cut himself in the restroom. That he was a troublemaker. That he moved from Sand because his family found out he was in a gang. They said that his tattoo was part of the gang initiation ritual. They said so many bad things about him. I couldn't block them out.

If some of the things were true I don't care, at least he is my friend. I'll judge him myself. I know that gossip could get out of hand and I know that most must not be true. I don't care what they say. I will be his friend I don't care.

Gaara is so strong. He glares at people, makes them stop their gossiping. He doesn't even care that they are talking about him. He's not face by their insults. I on the other hand wither away with every insult, every false sentence about myself. I can't stop them. I don't have the guts to make them stop.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, __and I'm pathetic."_

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	7. Chapter 6

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A month has passed since I started school. A month has passed since I learned to smile again. A month has passed since I met Gaara, my silent friend. Also a month has passed since my schoolmates started gossiping about me, saying those terrible lies that made me want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

Gaara has taught me how to block out what others say about me. I no longer wither away under their disgusted glares and venomous insults. No I stay unfazed. Like a block of ice, just like Gaara, but with a fake smile. But even if I were to block the outside world I still can't stop the torture that I go through inside my head. The demons of the past that still haunt me. The voices that are impregnated in my memory that will never leave me a chance to breathe. I'm rotting from the inside out and my block-of-ice attitude prevents the others from seeing it. I want others to help me, comfort me, but I think its better that way. Others shouldn't see when I break down.

_He_ wanted it that way...

Since I learned to not pay attention to the insults and the gossip I eat inside with Lee, Sai, Shino, and Gaara. We are like the renegades of the school, losers' maybe. We are the ones the jocks make fun of, but we don't care.

Since I eat with them I learned things about them. Like the fact that Lee and Gai-sensei are related. (Gai-sensei is his uncle and they live together because Lee parent's die in a car accident.) Lee has an obsession with youth and is really good fighter. Shino and Kiba used to be best friends until they started high school. Shino has a weird obsession with bugs, but I don't mind, and that he never takes his sun glasses off (he has sensitive eyes) and Sai is related to Sasuke, they are cousins. Sai has a talent for painting. Sai and Shino are both quiet, Lee on the other hand talks for all of us (me, Shino, Sai and Gaara). I also learned that Gaara lives alone in Konoha. His family is from Suna, and his mother is dead...

That's all I know about them, it's not alot but I learned their mannerism. I know when Sai is faking his happiness, when Lee is going to have a random outburst, or when Shino's one word response is a compliment. I learned to identify the different emotions that pass through Gaara's face. I could tell that the slight raise of his eyebrows means confusion, the burrow of his eyebrows mean frustration, and the slight upturn of his lips means he is happy. He only smiles around me.

I don't know alot about them, but they don't know alot about me either. I only told them that I used to live with my mom in Kumo until she died. That Neji is my cousin. And that my father took me in because of the family name, and that I don't have a good relationship with my family. (My father, sister and cousin) That's all they know. But they also learned my mannerism like the fact I stuttered because I'm nervous, that I blush to an extreme if I'm the center of attention, and that I have nervous habits like my fondling with my fingers and the biting of my lower lip.

They don't ask questions because they don't want to intrude in my personal life. I don't ask questions because I don't want to intrude on their personal life. We don't surpass each others limits. We don't want to. We have secrets of our own we don't want to others to know. That's why we are together. We are friends. Someday we might get to know each other.

We started to have a routine, we as in Gaara and I. In the morning Gaara waits at our lockers for me. We will greet each other and he will wait until I arrange everything the way I wanted in my locker and then walk with me to class. We walk so close to each other that our hands brush occasionally, every time that happens jolts of electricity pass through my arm, I always try to keep Gaara from seeing this. We would always get to class before everyone else and would just wait quietly. We aren't talkative so we prefer the silence. We will then do the work Kakashi-sensei gave us or I will read a book and he will stay glaring into empty space. After that, we will walk to Kurenai-sensei's class and do whatever work she gives us and then we will go to Gai-sensei's class. Gaara will walk me to the girls' locker room and then he will leave. We would usually sit under our tree or run laps. He runs with me now. At lunch we will sit on a table in the corner of the cafeteria with Lee, Sai, and Shino. After lunch the classes will pass by faster. First English with Kakashi-sensei, then math with Asuma-sensei, and then Art with Anko-sensei.

After school we will go our separate ways. That's our routine, but I feel secure with it. For at home I have to suffer alone.

I would always carry with me a videotape titled 'My mom' in a handwriting that isn't mine. No one noticed it before. The first time my classmates actually saw it was when I dropped it accidentally in homeroom today. Kiba and Naruto picked it up and were playing catch with it. I was frantic. I needed it back. I had to get it back. It's important it's one of my most precious possessions, yet the most hated one. It was the video of the last time I saw my mom.

I try futile to get it back. I stuttered a pathetic demand for them to give it back. They laugh at me, I cried. They just kept throwing it back and forth. God, how mean can a person be? Everyone was laughing, making fun of me.

All of a sudden Gaara caught the videotape before Naruto had a chance to grab it again. And with his meanest death glare and his most venomous voice said: "LEAVE HER ALONE"

They cowarded away like frightened little kittens. I kept on crying even after Gaara had given me the videotape back and dragged me to my desk.

The others kept on teasing me saying, "Look at her she is a high school student that needs something to remind her of her mommy, how childish." "Yeah like she's in Kindergarten." "Kindergartner" "Kindergartner". Ino and Sakura were the ones talking the most. Gaara couldn't shut them up.

At the end, Gaara had to drag me out of the class. I know I had learned to block others out but these past insults and glares, they actually play with something I consider more important than my life. We spend the whole day on the roof. I didn't care if my father was going to be mad at me. I don't care. Gaara stayed next to me through the whole ordeal. I cried and cried. Gaara was there for me. I had fallen asleep on his lap and he let me sleep. I hadn't cry like this for a month. He ran his fingers through my hair trying to calm me down. It did. But I couldn't calm the feelings of hopelessness and dread.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, __and I'm pathetic."_

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	8. Chapter 7

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It turns out that my father did get mad. And like I said before I don't care. I haven't watched the video since three or four months ago. I was tempted to watch it again, I was going to put myself through torture, I know for a fact that I can't handle watching it but... I wanted to see my mom. Even if it hurts me I feel so alone, I wanted to hear her, see her, imagine that she was here with me, away from everyone, the two of us alone and happy. I didn't watch it. I was already messed up from the homeroom incident.

I got to school like any other. There was more teasing then usual because of the videotape, but I got a hold of myself. I blocked them all out. Gaara was faithfully waiting for me at our lockers. As soon as I got there I told him I was fine. I had learned the subtle sings that meant that he was worried and wanted to ask me a question. I also knew which one it was. When I opened my locker I put all my books there and the videotape, I didn't want to have the same incident as yesterday.

I thought it was going to be safe.

How wrong I was.

Trouble was lurking not too far away. I closed my locker and headed to class with Gaara. Not even having a second thought of leaving the video on my locker.

-

Normal POV

A pinkette and a blond stepped out of the shadows and started to fondle with the locker that Hinata had put her books in a second ago. When the lock opens they hurriedly open the door and took out what they were looking for. Hinata's precious videotape. They close the door, locked the lock, and walked away. No one would suspect it was them. Who would even rat them out? They are the most popular girls in school; they could easily ruin whoever tells on them. Like anyone would. They went to the AV room where the morning announcements were supposed to be filmed. They will surely have a little fun with the tape. In there, a guy was directing the others telling them what to do. Ino and Sakura went straight to him. They started to flirt with him; they ask him to put the video on today. He agrees without hesitation. He's a guy with hormones, no one should blame him. Any normal teenage boy will do anything they ask. The video will be shown today. They wanted to make fun of Hinata. it was just to tease her. Hinata is a pathetic loser why would they care if she's humiliated? The tape was probably something embarrassing, only that.

-

Hinata's POV

I was waiting with Gaara for the other students to come in late like any other day. We were just sitting there quietly when all the jocks came in. They locked the door. It scared me when Ino and Sakura suddenly yank me out of my seat and grabbed my arms. I couldn't escape their hold. I turned to look at Gaara when I heard a ruffle of chairs and saw that Kiba and Naruto were holding him down against the wall. His efforts to escape were as futile as mine.

My face showed pure fear. What did they want? Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji and Tenten were crowding around us. I heard Gaara ask what they wanted and his only answer was Tenten turning on the TV. It was the channel of the morning announcements. Instead of showing the school news I saw the beginning of my videotape.

"NO!" I screamed, I struggled, I couldn't watch it. No, please don't make me watch it. I cried. The only thing keeping me standing were the grips Ino and Sakura had on me.

"Aww, come on Hina-_chan _why don't you want to watch the video?" Ino cooed at me.

"Yeah, why don't you want us to watch a video of little Hina-_chan_?" It was Sakura's turn now. "Is it that embarrassing?" God I hate her laugh! I hate every ones laugh.

The video showed me when I was eight years old. I had a yellow sundress and was in the park with my mom. I was going to slide down a big slide when I chicken out and was trying to climb down. A kid pushes me because he didn't want to let me go down and I fell. This causes me to scrape my knee. My mom, who had the video camera, came rushing to me because of my cries and started to tend my wound. Everyone was laughing, except Gaara, because of how pathetic I looked. My little face was red, tears were rushing down my face and snot was running down my nose. Everyone thought I was crying because of that. No, I was crying because of what was coming.

The video stopped, the screen was blank, and suddenly a shrill cry was heard. The image came on again and this time it was of my mother in a bloody puddle on the ground, her hands tied behind her back. She was crying, crying because of the pain she was going through. She was bruised all over, like someone had beaten her up.

The video camera was adjusted so that the screen showed both my mom on the ground and I tied up by my wrists. I was the same age I'm now, this happened four months ago. My hair was let down and I wore a blue dress. I was crying and trying to get away. I couldn't, I was too weak. A man came forward. Long brown hair, strong muscular built, and tattoos all over. His eyes were a sickly yellow. He grabbed my chin, force me to look at my mom. This causes me to cry even more.

"_Hina-Hime _this is what happens when you don't do what I tell you to do." His voice made me want to gag. He licked my face. "Now I'll have to kill her." My blood stopped cold when he approached my mom. He grabbed a bat from an unknown place and started to beat her with it.

She was coughing blood violently. He only kept on hitting her, harder, faster. She suddenly stopped moving, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, but he kept on beating her, hitting her, faster, harder. God, STOP! He smashes her face with the end of the bat. Her face caves in. Blood seeped everywhere. If I hadn't seen what happen, I wouldn't have recognized her as my mom.

Both Ino and Sakura let go of me. I fell to the ground no longer having their support. They looked terrified, eyes wide. They had their hands to their mouth probably trying to keep themselves from vomiting. Everyone seems shocked. Everyone stopped dead on their tracks. Even Naruto and Kiba let Gaara go, but no one moved. The video continued.

The man turns to me. Walked over to where I was tied and crying my eyes out. He pressed his body against mine, his mouth nibbling on my earlobe. The only thing I could do was cry. I was tied, I was tired, and I was numb. My mother's body laid a couple of feet away in a bloody puddle. He got a pocket knife out and started to play with it. Gracing my skin to the point of almost penetrating it.

"I'll have to show you your place so that I won't have to do _that_." He gave a pointed look to the corpse of my mother at the end of his sentence. Then he started to lacerate my arm, carving words. I only felt pain. I closed my eyes.

"Repeat after me." I shook my head. He growled and jabbed me.

"_Now, _repeat after me." This time I nodded. He cleared his throat.

"I'm weak."

"I-I'm w-weak"

"I'm a failure"

"I-I'm a failure-re"

"I'm pathetic"

"I'm p-pathetic"

He told me to keep repeating it and I did.

"I-I'm w-weak"

"I-I'm a failure-re"

"I'm p-pathetic"

"I-I'm w-weak"

"I-I'm a failure-re"

"I'm p-pathetic..."

He was satisfied. He pressed his body closer to mine. It took my breath away. "I want you to rot from the inside out Hina-Hime, I want you to slowly, painfully die my Hime… until you can't take it anymore and end your life...". He was playing with my hair, taking in my scent. I turned my head away, it was the only thing I could do. God please get him away. "It will be so much fun to see you crumple into little pieces..." He laughs.

He suddenly got his pocket knife and releases me, he told me to run. I did. He turns to the camera and smiles his disgusting grin and turns it off. Does he find satisfaction in my torment? Did he like to psychopath me to the point where I believe what I was chanting? That was the end of the video and it took a few minutes for anyone to react.

Neji got out of his trance first and crouched down next to me. He grabbed my arm and lifted my sleeve. He gasps when he saw my scars. It read: "I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic."

I smiled a bitter smile. I hate the looks in their eyes. They pity me. _Now _they regret everything they did and said to me. I started to laugh hysterically. All of them are bastards. I'll meet them all in hell and rot with them.

My laughs turn to wails. No one can blame me; I just saw the death of my mother again. The first time was shocking, but seeing it again confirming my nightmares is worst. The voice in my head started to speak louder, chanting the words that are forever scared on my body.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic, I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic, I'm weak, I'm a failure, __and I'm pathetic."_ My hands were to my ears trying to keep the voice from getting louder.

"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic." I don't even remember when I started chanting with it. "I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic, I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic, I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pa..."

I didn't registered Gaara coming to my side and shaking me. He was trying to snap me out of my trance.

"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic, I'm weak, I'm a failure..." I needed to run away. Just run away. Get away from everything.

That's what I did. I ran away chanting the words I so dread.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic."_

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	9. Chapter 8

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I just ran away. My legs carried me out of the school grounds. I think Gaara had followed me until I was a few feet away from school, shouting my name. I'm still running, crying, sobbing, and shaking. I don't want to go back. I can't go back. God no I can't, I keep on running, like I'm on a program to just keep moving. My legs are the ones taking me. I'm not thinking. My mind is fogged up and useless at the moment. Why did they do it? Why couldn't they stop when I asked them to? Their eyes once filedl with amusement at my misery, were showing pity, guilt, so many emotions that shouldn't be in their faces. They should rot in hell, all of them, bastards, bastards. Their pity makes me feel weak, a failure, pathetic. I just keep walking, now I blend with the crowds. Not one person asks if I was fine. All of them are bastards. I'll meet them all in hell.

I stopped once I was in front of my mother's gravestone. It read:

"Haruka Huuyga June 3, 1972- November 17, 2008: Loving and caring mother."

It was plain, simple, and small. I had to pay for it myself. No one else would. I stood there just staring at it for fifteen minutes. I was in a catatonic trance. I just blankly stared at it. It was late, probably six or seven because it was starting to get dark. It was getting cooler too. I didn't pay attention to any of it. I just wasn't on Earth. My head was in the clouds. My eyes were blank. No emotion in them. I was only a shell. Everything inside was gone. It had rotten away. Day after day of going through this pain had taken its toll. I fell on my knees and clutched the part where my heart should be. I had felt a lot of pain while I was watching the video and when I was running, but now...the pain, I'm accustom to the pain. I can't feel it. Not anymore. I'm dead. I'm dead. I have no more tears to shed. I have no pity, sympathy, love, care, happiness, sadness. I no longer have emotions.

I'M DEAD.

I had sat there next to my mother's gravestone for what seem like an eternity. It was dark, cold, and scary in the cemetery. In between the endless hours of sitting there my fingers started to trace the letters, numbers, and design on my mother's gravestone. I was numb, physically and emotionally. Physically because of the cold and emotionally because of what I went through today. I'm still unresponsive. I'm still only a shell of what I once was.

I heard someone walking, coming closer to me, and sitting next to me. I didn't blink, I didn't flinch, I didn't turn my head to acknowledge whoever it was. I don't care anymore. I could be kidnapped, raped, murdered and I wouldn't care. I just kept on blankly starring at my mother's name. Why did she have to die? I heard that people deal with the loss of someone important to them differently. And that some, like me, have post-traumatic shock. I was fine when my mother died four months ago. When I was found and taken to the hospital, I couldn't assimilate what happened. I didn't understand what happened. I couldn't acknowledge the fact that my mother had died. The three months I spent on the hospital before I was released to my father were fine. People kept on asking me if I was alright. I was. They wanted to know if my mental health had taken a toll. It hadn't. If I was in a trauma because of the brutal death of my mother. I wasn't. The only thing that showed that the accident did shaken me a little was the fact that I was more reserve then before and that I belittle myself a lot. My poor self-esteem was worse than ever.

Now that I saw what happened, that it sunk in that she died a horrible death, I can't feel anymore. I feel only grief, a terrible grief.

The person that was sitting next to me drapes a jacket on my shoulders. This warms my body but I stayed unfazed, unmoving.

"Come on Hinata" That voice, I know that voice. I was dragged through the cemetery. I only stared blankly ahead. Once I was sitting down on the passenger seat I turned my head to face her. Kurenai-sensei. I stared at her for three minutes than turned my head to watch the road ahead. Why is she doing this?

When we arrive at her apartment she was running around trying to find pillows, blankets and a pajama for me. Is she not going to take me home? When she found everything she told me to go to the bathroom and clean up. I didn't move. I had everything on my arms but I still didn't move. She just smiled at me warmly and took me to the bathroom. She bathed me herself. While she did I barely batted an eyelash. When I was dressed in shorts and a big t-shirt, she sat me down on her couch and brushes my long hair. Just like my mom used to.

We didn't talk. She only talked when she told me to eat the leftover Chinese food she handed me. I only picked at it with my chopsticks. She frowned but said nothing. I sat on the couch and stared blankly at the wall until it was time to sleep. When Kurenai-sensei was sure I was tucked in well and I was comfortable (I could have care less at the moment) she walked to the light switch and turn it off. Before she disappears into her bedroom she bid me a 'good night'. She got nothing from me.

"You can stay here as long as you want Hinata." This got my attention; shouldn't she take me to my father? I turned to her still lying down on the couch. "You can stay until you are ready to face everyone." I will never.

"What you past through was just horrible" she was shaking with anger. She saw the video. "I want you to know that I'm here for you honey."

I regain a spark in my eyes. She cares. She really cares.

"Th-Thank you" my voice was scratchy because I cried all day and it was only a whisper but she still heard it.

"You're welcome honey." She smiled at me, kisses my forehead, and went to bed.

Once I was alone in the darkness I was consumed with the flashbacks of the events that occur today. I would have cried if I could. I was numb.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic."_

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	10. Chapter 9

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Three days has passed since I ran away. I haven't contacted my family. Not that they would care. I didn't even go outside. I prefer to stay in the shadows of the apartment while Kurenai-sensei went to work. I didn't eat. The only nourishment I have is the food Kurenai forced on me. I am the spitting image of death. I wonder if someone noticed I was gone, if they actually wondered where I was. If they thought that I was dead. To tell you the truth, I think I would have even considered me loco enough to suicide. The way Gaara saw me with his worried face could attribute further to my belief. He only looks at me one other time like that, and that was when I attempted suicide. He looked so worry, I can't even explain. The only thing I can tell you is that it broke my heart to see him like that. He looked worst than a kitten in the rain. His eyes full with sorrow, the way his arm was extended and his hand was trying to reach me like a child would only broke me further. I want to see him. I bet he is the only one that cares about me. He was the only one that actually ran after me.

Is he sad?

I think so.

Does he know where I am?

No.

I know for a fact that Kurenai-sensei didn't tell a soul where I was. It was a secret agreement between the two of us that she wouldn't break. She wouldn't.

Have I been selfish? Yes I have. Only thinking about my sorrow, my sadness, my feelings, everything. Why can't I move on? Have I really reached rock bottom? Am I really that broken? Did that man's wish to see me rot from the inside out has really been fulfilled? Am I only the shell of the person I was?

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, I'm pathetic."_

Kurenai-sensei came in like any other day today. She bid me a good afternoon and started doing paper work. Apparently she needed to correct a test. A test I missed probably. We didn't talk; we just stood in each others presence in silence. I like her. She knows when to talk and when to appreciate a quiet moment. She's been so kind to me, so understanding. She didn't even ask me anything. She didn't even push me to spill my guts out. She just stood next to me, reassuring me that she would be there if I needed her. She could have driven me to my father and dropped me there so he would take responsibility of me, but she didn't. I owe her. I owe her a lot.

"I think you should return tomorrow" She didn't look up from grading the paper she was on. I was petrified for a good ten minutes.

Could I actually return to that hell? Am I ready to? No I can't. No I'm not. But it is the only thing Kurenai-sensei has asked me since I came to this apartment. I owe her so much. I just can't keep on greedily taking all her hospitality. She is nothing to me but my teacher. Why can't I just agree to do the only thing I could do to repay her? To show her that I'm better? Why am I so selfish?

"I-I guess I could?" My voice was raspy from the lack of use. My tone could be in the borderline of a question, instead of the statement it should be.

"What honey?" She was too engulf in her work and didn't hear my delay response.

"I'm going back to school tomorrow." The second answer was filled with finality. I have to return sometime, it is better now or never.

"Great Hinata I'm so proud of you." She hugged me and started to rant about the things I needed to prepare for tomorrow. I blanked out, nodding my head every once in a while and appearing as if I was listening to her.

Tomorrow will be hell. I just know it.

Kurenai-sensei took me to the head mistress office herself. She didn't have a homeroom so she didn't care if we came late. We came in a minute after the bell had rung. Kurenai-sensei thought that it would be better if I came to school with her. I think she didn't trust me enough to come alone. We walked side by side. I felt reassured with her presence. It calmed my nerves, even if it was for just a little. I was wearing a black sundress she had lent me with a white T-shirt underneath. My hair was down. She said that this would show the NEW Hinata, the one that got over the whole video tape incident. She said this would show them that I can't be torn apart. It is all a lie. But I have to walk in with my chin held high because she wants me to. She wants to see me get better, to stop being depressed. I can't just tell her that I think this will turn into a disaster, that I can't face them because I'm a coward, that I'm not ready for this. But I know that she can see this herself. I know she sees how distant I am. How unresponsive and afraid. Even if I'm cooperating by going to school and facing the world, she can still see that I'm not okay. That I can't even force myself to smile. I know she knows because her eyes sadden every time she looks at me and her smile isn't as sincere as it usually is.

We reached the office and she left me with Tsunade.

"I'm glad that you are feeling better Hinata, welcome back." her voice was soft and soothing, not like the first time I met her. She smiles at me. "I have all your stuff here." She gave me my belongings that I had left the day I ran away. I didn't know what to do so I just nodded. I felt lost, helplessly lost. "Your father will come pick you up after school, he's been told of your whereabouts." I froze when she mentions my father. She pauses when she saw my reaction. She clears her throat. "We have given him the video tape, he didn't file a missing report to the police so we don't have to worry about that." It seems that she didn't like my father that much by the way she was greeting her teeth and she had a nervous tick on her left eyebrow. And the fact that she sounded totally disapproving of my father's action added to my suspicion.

"Kakashi will take you to your homeroom." As she said this Kakashi-sensei came in. book in hand.

"Welcome back Hinata-chan" He gave me those smiles of his hidden behind his mask. I nodded again and got up from my seat and started to walk to the door.

The walk was quiet. The distance from the office to Kakashi-sensei's room seemed endless. I didn't try to start a conversation; no I was retreating back into my shell. I'm not ready to face _them_. To be ridiculed by _them_. But I want to see Gaara, my friend. I want to make Kurenai-sensei proud, to show her that I'm better and that I got over the whole thing. I want to be strong for once. I know that's impossible.

I'm scared. I'm having second thoughts about it, I'm shutting off everyone. I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want _them_ to pity me. I hate their pity. It makes me feel weak. Weaker than I am, a spark of anger flashed through my eyes. I hate _them_.

When we got to Kakashi-sensei's door he went in first. I could hear the class scream at him that he was late and that they didn't believe his excuse even before he told them the reason.

"But this time I do have a plausible excuse for my tardiness." Everyone grunted in disbelief. "I went to go fetch Hinata." Now this is the first time I heard the class go so quiet. Everyone seems to be petrified when I enter. They all had pity, regret, and disbelief written in their faces. I hate them. I gave them all a blank, cold stare. The only reaction I wanted to see was Gaara's. His face looked stoic but his eyes showed happiness and mild disbelief. I kept his gaze while I smiled on the inside. He cares. He cares.

I walked to my desk in front of him. His face might not portray any emotion but his eye told me everything. They told me that he was worried about me, that he was sad that I ran away, that he wanted to know where I was, that he thought I would have never come back, that he was happy to see me, that he was my friend and I should trust him.

MY eyes told him what I felt too. That I was sorry for leaving him, that I was happy to see him again, that I was sorry for making him worry, that I regretted not contacting him.

Our little eye conversation, that seems to have gone on for like eternity, was interrupted when my cousin came into view.

"Where have you been Hinata?" Why did he sound worried? Why was he standing there, next to my desk, with a look of pity and regret? He has no right to pity me. He had no right to worry about me. He hadn't before and he shouldn't now. He knew my mom had died. Why did he have to change now? I don't need this.

"NOT LIKE YOU CARE WHERE I WAS." I was infuriated. Everyone in the class turn to look at me. Why were their faces filled with pity and regret? "Not like anyone care before, why should you care now?" My voice was filled with malicious and anger. My eyes were stormed.

Everyone seems shocked. I have never lashed out at anyone. I didn't stutter either. I would have felt accomplished if I wasn't so mad, so angry. After the little episode I calmed down and stared ahead. My eyes were unfocused and I was once again unresponsive. I know I shouldn't have come. I'm not ready to face them. I'm not ready to face my father. I just can't do it.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic."_

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	11. Chapter 10

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While I was sulking in my despair the bell for second period rang. I came back into my senses only to see that Gaara and I were left in the classroom. Kakashi had left too. I slowly rose from my seat and gathered my belongings. I straighten my dress and slung my bag over my shoulders. I was about to walk out of the classroom when Gaara stopped in font of me. He stared hard at me. All of a sudden he ducked down and hugged me. He hugged me as if his life depended on it. He held me tighter as if he didn't know if I would disappear. His face was hidden on the crook of my neck.

"Don't leave me again." His voice was soft and pleading and was muffle by my skin. But I was still able to hear him.

"I won't" My voice was so distant and cold. But I was somehow able to sound unwavering. I knew that I couldn't leave him. Not without feeling remorse. He seems satisfied with my answer.

He composed himself after a few seconds.

"Let's go to class." He grabs my hand and didn't let go. He probably thought that if he did I would leave. I didn't mind I didn't want him to let go. I felt secured in his grasp.

We entered Kurenai-sensei's class hand in hand. She saw this and smile. I tried to smile in return but I couldn't. I couldn't. We sat at our regular seats, next to each other. I was once again going to blank out, to withdraw from the world when Shino came to stand next to my desk.

"I'm glad to see that you recuperated from the incident." I look up just in time to see him push his sunglasses further up his nose. 'I'm sorry that we had to find out how your mother died in such a horrid way." my eyes were blank. They were endless holes of nothingness. "Bare in mind that you have friends that worry about you, I, myself consider you my friend." With no response he left. He left me to ponder on what he said.

The bell rang signalling the students that class has begun. We all started doing the problems Kurenai-sensei had put on the board. They weren't that difficult and I finished them with time to spare. I was staring into empty space, in an almost-comatose trance. I was so unfocused. I couldn't think properly. I could feel both Kurenai-sensei's and Gaara's worry glances, but did nothing to show them that I was fine. Why would I if I'm not? A note landed on my desk.

_I'm really sorry. I regret what I did. I shouldn't have taken your video. I don't know how I could ever show you how sorry I am._

_From,_

_Sakura_

After reading the note I became so furious. How dare she? How dare she say she's sorry? How dare she? She has no right. No right what so ever.

I don't know what came over me but one minute I was crumpling up the note she gave me, the next I was standing abruptly from my desk, causing my chair to fall with a loud thump, and the next I was marching toward her. Everyone's eyes were on us. She met my eyes and gulped. I was glaring daggers at her. I stood there for a minute just glaring at her, showing her my disgust, my hatred, my anger. Then my hand connected with her face. A loud slap noise was heard. Her face was turned and a red hand-print, my hand-print, was appearing on her delicate face. She slowly brought her hand to her face. Her watery eyes turned to mine; my hand was still in the air. I slowly brought my hand down. I didn't speak a word. I returned to my desk, the only sound heard were Sakura's sobs and my hard breathing. All eyes were still on me. I turned my glare to them and they averted their eyes immediately. Kiba and Chouji ran to Sakura's side. Kurenai-sensei came to me and took the shrivel note from my grasp. She read the content and turns her apologetic eyes to mine. She did nothing to reprimand me. She just told Kiba and Chouji to take Sakura to the clinic to get ice for her cheek. The class went quiet and the atmosphere turns dense. I hate Sakura. I hate her.

Third period was nothing in particular. News spread fast about me slapping Sakura. When she came back with Kiba and an ice pack to her cheek people really started to talk.

Kiba, Naruto, Ino, and Sakura were off to one side. Talking in hush whispers. Giving me a spare glance every once in a while. Their eyes expressed saddness. But I didn't care. I kept my gaze up ahead. Gai-sensei was giving a speech about how youthful today was because I had returned. He was so happy that he made us run laps around the track. I didn't care and just started to run, with Gaara next to me.

Lee was ahead like always but he slowed down and started to run backwards.

"I'm glad that the youthful flower of our group has returned." He gave me his blinding smile. "I will show you how happy I am that you are back youthful Hinata by winning this race." His eye had fire of determination in them. He sprints off toward the finish line. We were in our first lap and needed to run 25. I gave a weak smile. Lee is a good friend.

Gaara turns to me when we were on our third lap.

"What happened in second period?" He was concerned. He wanted to know why I had reacted so violently to whatever Sakura did. I would never hit anyone for no reason.

"Nothing happened." I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Nothing happened." His eyes told me that he didn't believe me but let it go nonetheless. I gave him a grateful smile and continued to run hand in hand with him. I needed some sort of physical comfort and I like the feel of his big hand enclosing my small one.

At lunch Gaara had steered me away from the crowds and took me to the roof, our usual place to get away from those we don't want to see. Our hide out. We sat next to each other, eating small bites out of our bentos.

"Where were you?" A small gust of wind blew and my hair sways with it.

"I was with Kurenai-sensei," I put a stray strand of hair behind my ear, "she found me and let me stay in her apartment." I turned my gaze to him "I was in a pretty bad emotional state and she helped me." I turn my gaze to the sky. The clouds were blowing with the wind. "I owe her so much." my voice was but a whisper.

"Are you feeling better?" I could feel his gaze on me. I contemplated this for a minute. "No, I'm not." I closed my eyes. "I'm not ready to face this right now." tears started to pour down my face. "I can't stand them, their eyes are full with pity, they say they are sorry for what they did but their apologies only make me more furious." I turn my body so that I could completely face him. "They have no right to feel sorry, to pity me, they, they..."

A loud sob escape me and I latch myself onto Gaara. I cried on his shoulder and he just held me tight.

"Shh I'm here for you." He positions me so that I was sitting on his lap in a more comfortable way. "I'm here for you Hinata." I calm down listening to his heartbeat. My head was lying on his chest and he was running circles on my back.

"Thank you" I said as I snuggle deeper into his warmth.

The rest of the day was nothing much. The rumors of me slapping Sakura continue to spread but I didn't care. Now was the time for me to face my father. I was walking toward the entrance of the school alone. I needed to do this by myself. When I entered the parking lot my father was waiting next to our limo with Neji. His face was as cold and emotionless as usual. Bastard. I approach them with a blank face and entered the limousine. They follow without a word.

When we entered our manor I was going to go to my room when my father stopped me in the middle of the stairs.

"Where were you?" he was demanding me to give him an answer. His eyes glaring at me.

"Nowhere father." my voice was as cold and distant as his.

"Where were you for the last three days?" with every word he said he came closer to me, walking one or two steps at a time.

"I said nowhere father." His glare intensified.

"I 'LL REPEAT THIS ONE MORE TIME, WHERE WERE YOU?" I turn my furious eyes on him

"LIKE YOU FUCKING CARE WHERE I WAS, YOU DIDN'T EVEN FILE A MISSING REPORT."

His eyes turn red and his fist connected with my face with such force that it causes me to loose my balance. I stumble down the stairs and my head hit the edge of one of the steps causing me to get a deep cut. I was losing blood and conscious rapidly. Before my world turned dark I heard my father say.

"You are so weak and pathetic; you should have die like your mother."

The darkness consumed me right after those words.

_"I'm weak, I'm a failure, and I'm pathetic."_

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	12. AN

**I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SUCH A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!**

_I wanted to apologize to everyone that wants my fan-fiction to update but I have a serious Writer's Block :c_

_I appreciate all of you that are waiting patiently._

_I would love to get feedback about how should I continue._

_I have the basic plot down but I need help. All criticism is accepted and I again want to apologize for my tardiness. Thank you all for reading my fan-fiction and I hope to find inspiration to finish my first story soon. Again I'm really sorry and hope to get replies from most of you._

_Thanks again,_

**βŁỚớĐ¥ NûnŜ out!!**


	13. Chapter 11

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I awoke to the smell of sterile medical supplies and the sound of a heart monitor in the middle of the night. My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton, I could barely keep them open. My head was throbbing and pain came crashing through my body whenever I tried to move. It was intolerable; every single movement would cause a tremendous amount of pain. Even breathing was a difficult task. I had so many questions, how did I get here? Who brought me here? My father? No, he wouldn't have trouble himself with me, but If he didn't then who? Who? Who cared enough about me to actually save me? Why would anyone bother with me? Why couldn't I just die?

The last thing I remembered was rolling down the stairs. I couldn't ponder on my questions for long because I was losing the battle to stay awake. I was going to lose my conscious any minute now. I tried to fight it, I tired to stay awake but I couldn't. This was another thing I failed at. I'm weak.

Gaara's POV

_"Fuck"_

I cursed in my head for the millionth time today. Why God, Why?

Lying on the bed, in front of the chair I am sitting, is Hinata.

"_Fuck"_

She looks paler than usual and there are many tubes and cables attached to her. Bruises and scratches cover her body. She seems to be in pain.

_"Fuck"_

She looks so fragile. The only thing I want to do is hug her close to me but refrain from doing so because I know that it will hurt her. I don't want to see her in pain anymore.

_"Fucking Bastard"_

How could he do this to her? Why would he hurt her? God why?

I thought today was going to be just like any other day. I would wait for Hinata at our lockers and then walk her to class and enjoy the day together. What I didn't expect was for the other Hyuuga, Neji, to tell me that Hinata was in the hospital because of a fight she and her father had.

_"Fuck"_

The minute the words left his mouth I ran to Kurenai-sensei's room. I knew that she would know what to do; I knew that she would help her. I told her what the other Hyuuga told me and we both got on her car and drove off to the hospital.

The only reason we were allowed to see Hinata was because of Kurenai. She was very polite and professional and said that Hinata was under her care, that's why we were let through. If I were alone I would have demanded the information on the whereabouts of Hinata and would have probably not been able to see her.

_"Fuck"_

I'm alone with Hinata now, Kurenai had to go talk to the doctor and sign some papers.

_"Fuck, please wake up."_

It kills me to see her like this. Hadn't she had enough? Why must everyone kick her when she is down? She is only a shell of a person. She doesn't smile, doesn't enjoy life, she's depressed and sad.

The first time I saw her she looked so tired of living. She was worn out. It was a pitiful sight; I couldn't just let her kill herself. She needed a friend and that's what I became.

"I promise you that no one will touch you again Hinata." I told her this while I held her hand. "I promise you that I will protect you."

I clasped her hand between mine. It felt cold, colder than she usually feels.

"You know what, I need you to wake up. you are my only friend."

It is true, she is my only friend. When I transfer to Konoha High last year no one wanted to be my friend because of the rumors that were going around. They were about me being in a gang or something like it, I never paid attention to what people were saying. The fact that I dressed differently and never talked to anyone didn't help. Also, that I transfered into the school in the middle of the year because I was expelled from my other school made me the loner I am. The truth was that I got into a fight with a guy that was making fun of me and then he had to go to the hospital. I was expelled because of that. My father after hearing the news disowns me. He said that I was a disgrace to the family and to leave the house immediately. He was just glad he had an excuse to disown me, he always felt that it was my fault that mom died, she died giving birth to me. I just took my stuff and left the house. My brother and sister visited once in a while to lend me money and to see how I was doing. But other than that I have no contact with them.

I spend the rest of that year alone, not that I minded, I was never someone very sociable but it felt lonely.

When I became friends with Hinata, it felt like the void in me left. I had someone that knew what it was like to be alone. She was so sad and I made it my personal goal to make sure that she would be happy and smiling. I liked her smile since the first time I saw it way back when we sat together under our tree in P.E.

_"Fuck, I don't want to be alone again."_

I just want to hold her all day and protect her. I don't want anything to harm her. I don't want to see her in tears anymore. I want her to smile at me, with me, because she likes to be around me. I really like her, no scratch that, I love her.

"I love you"

I felt her hand twitch right after I whisper those words. I had my head down and I looked up just in time to see her open her eyes.

_"Thank God she's alright."_

I stood still as the doctors and nurses rushed in trying to unplug the tubes and cables she had.

Kurenai came in with them and dragged me to one side so we wouldn't be in the way.

"She's going to be fine, don't worry."

She smiled at me and gave my shoulder a squeeze. I let the breath I was holding out.

_"She's going to be fine."_

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	14. Chapter 12

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Hinata´s POV

One month later

"Youthful Sunflower where does this box go?!?" Lee exclaimed while jumping up and down with a BIG box in his arms. I couldn't help but giggle.

"That one goes to my room Lee."

"Yosh understood!" He then flew to my room exclaiming that he would take good care of it or would do a thousand sit-ups and something about 'youthfulness'

Again I laughed.

"He has a lot of energy doesn't he?" I felt two arms circle around me and a head laid on my shoulder.

_Gaara._

"Yes he does but at least he is helping with the move and not doing picky push-ups."

"Yeah you're right," he tightens his grip, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired, but that's to expect because we have been moving boxes all day."

"Yeah."

We stood there holding each other for a couple of minutes. I loved it when I'm in his arms, I feel so safe. Like nothing can harm me.

"Hey lovebirds, why don't you help us finish moving the boxes so that we can order pizza?" Kurenai laughed and murmured something about 'teenagers in love' and walked into her new room with a box in hand.

We flew apart from each other. I blushed and stammered my apology which was responded by a chuckle from Gaara and a kiss on the cheek, which redden my blush. He left to the kitchen with two small boxes.

I grabbed a box that was near the door and looked on at my new home. The movers had already brought in the big furniture which made it a cozy new apartment. It is much bigger than the one Kurenai lived-in before. It has two bedrooms, a living room, one bathroom, a dinning room, and a kitchen. Perfect for the two of us, I smiled at that.

Kurenai is my new guardian. She was given my custody when child services learned how I got to be hospitalized. Surprisingly, Neji was the one that told them that my father was the one that hit me and caused me to fall down the stairs. He was also the one that took me to the hospital and told Gaara where I was. He has been trying to get close to me, like cousins should; I think he feels sorry for everything he has done to me. So have the others. I forgave them. Gaara hasn't. He believes that I'm too passive and forgiving. I guess he is right.

"Hinata-Chan, where does this go?" Shino came in with two plastic baskets full of DVDs "Those go in the living room Shino." I beamed at him. Shino readjusted his sunglasses and went on his way.

"Hina-Chan can I hang this painting over the couch?" Sai had given Kurenai and me a painting he made as a gift for our new apartment. It was a portrait of me and Kurenai laughing. It's nice and warm. Now he was holding the painting waiting for my approval to hang it.

"Sure Sai" I gave him a smile and he went to work.

Gaara, Shino, Sai and Lee were helping with our move. They all volunteered to help when they heard that we were moving into a new apartment. (So that I could have my own room.) I am really lucky to have them as friends. Well Gaara is more than a friend now. Blush.

A month ago when I woke up in the hospital I heard Gaara say that he 'loved me'. I couldn't believe it. He didn't say anything about it. He just told me that he was glad that I was okay and gave me a hug, a big long hug. It made things awkward for a couple of days until I gained enough guts to tell him that I loved him too. I was blushing and stuttering like crazy but he still understood. We shared our first kiss then.

After that day things have fallen into place. I have someone that is like a mother to me, great friends, and also a wonderful boyfriend, blush.

I sometimes feel like this is all a dream and that I shouldn't have so many blessings but Gaara, Shino, Sai, Lee, and Kurenai disagred.

The jocks started to behave better toward us. They wanted to be forgiven for all the bad things they did to us. Well especially me. I forgave them. I just don't want to stay angry and are nice toward me now.

I remember that they Sakura, Kiba, Naruto, and Ino came to visit me a couple of times. They always kept on repeating their apologies over and over again. I guess they are really sorry.

Things with my cousin have started to cool down. It's not a hate relationship anymore but I wouldn't say that we love each other as family yet. He visited me a couple of times in the hospital. He never said that he was the one that helped me, but then he was never one to talk too much.

Like I said before, things have started to fall into place, for once in my life since my mother's death things have started to look good for me.

My friends are always by my side, making school now tolerable.

People don't see me with pity in their eyes but with respect. They see me as the girl who was broken down who was able to stand up again and dust all the dirt off of her. I like that. I like for once in my life to be seen as someone venerable.

I would have never gotten off the floor if Gaara wasn't by my side, staying with me through everything.

I'm not going to lie. I still feel depressed sometimes. I sometimes expect for things to go wrong and destroy my new life but Gaara doesn't allow me to think that way. When ever I am melancholic he would poke me. He always tells me that I'm so strong for living through what I have, that I'm brave because I still allow myself to smile and enjoy my life even though I know that things could go wrong, and that I'm the best thing in his life. I think he is wrong; he IS the best thing in MY life.

I now know that I was mistaken for some time.

_I'm not weak_

"I'm strong"

_I'm not a failure_

"I'm a success"

_I'm not pathetic_

"I'm worthwhile"

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